After A Relationship Breakdown…breathe!

The other day, one of my friends asked me an interesting question. But as we were on duty as that day’s media team, and the meeting was due to start, I don’t think I actually answered it. Don’t you just hate it when someone doesn’t answer your question!

I have made the decision to give myself at least a year off from guys, and allow my heart to heal. At the time, when someone suggested it to me, it felt like a really tall order, but actually….it’s great! It’s given me a some breathing space and means I’m not one of those women who jumps from one relationship to another. It is giving me time to get to know myself. Me. The person I am without someone else around. The person I am without having another person trying to dictate to me or change who I am.

Giving yourself the space to reidentify yourself after the breakdown of a relationship is good practice. Jumping from one relationship to another doesn’t allow you to learn who you are and what you stand for, nor does it give you a sense of independence. Your identity apart from another person is important.

Giving you space for healing also is being kind to your heart. You’re protecting yourself from more heartache, you’re telling yourself you matter, your heart matters, your emotional well-being matters. You matter.

And the question? “What happens after the year?”

In all honesty, I’m not sure! I am not going to rush bruising my heart, after the time we are taking to heal. I value me more than that. I don’t want to slouch around hoping everything will work out without first knowing I am walking in the fullness of a heart which is healed and strengthened, after what I’ve walked through.


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