Do you ever feel like God has asked you to do something, but the closer you are to doing it, the more you’re like, “Actually, God. Are You sure You meant me??”
In 18 days, I will be heading off to film a medical mission near Nineveh. As each day is crossed off my list toward going, I’m not only doubting my own capability to really do justice to what is being asking of me, but I’m doubting whether God really meant for me to do this! Maybe there’s another Steph He meant to ask, and I was somehow swapped in the process. You know like when the wrong person arrives at an interview, and somehow ends up with the dream job, but the real person who should have had the interview chases them throughout the film, trying to steal back what they believed belonged to them?
I didn’t turn up for an interview. Wrongly or rightly! I was asked outright. But that doesn’t alter the fact I am feeling like am I really the right person for this particular job.
But isn’t this how God often works. Gives us challenges bigger than ourselves so we don’t think we are doing it, but know we are able to do it with His help?! I want to capture the emotion of the trip, and not just film the stories or appointments. Not because I’m a particularly emotional woman, I don’t think. But I feel like this angle is going to be the reason I have been given this opportunity. Because this kind of experience is more than just about following a group of medics around.
It’s about the stories behind the scars.
And these, I know, are going to be some tough, and incredibly emotional stories. And this is why I feel the pressure to ensure what I do captures what I hope to achieve. I’m a writer. A storyteller through the written word. Hopefully I can achieve the same sense of storytelling through the lens of my camera, for a change. Not because I think I’ll be any good at it – but because I believe I have this once in a lifetime opportunity for such a purpose as this.