We are almost a quarter of the way through the year, already! Can you believe it?!? And so far, I am working through the goals I had planned to achieve this year, ticking off the following:
- Get a new car
- Get a new hair cut
- Build new opportunities for writing more.
The new hair cut was probably the easiest to achieve – although maybe took the most guts to actually do. It’s funny how much we cling to what we think defines us. And for women, I think our hair is probably one of the biggest aspects of what we control to create the right kind of image for ourselves. For some, it’s a mask to hide behind. For others it’s an accessory to adapt with our daily outfits.
So I went from long to short, with the instruction to my hairdresser, “Let’s cut that man right out of my life!” Seriously!!
There’s a sense of freedom in having control when we make steps to redefine how we are perceived; and while the inner character doesn’t change just because of a haircut, it can give us a new sense of freedom.
I remember reading an article last year about a woman who set-up a business offering women coming out of abusive marriages and relationships a “Just for you” kit, which included expensive, quality spa products, make-up, hair care etc and a voucher for a hair cut. Her argument was that after leaving a relationship like that, women like us needed to be given the “OK” about treating ourselves.
At the time of reading it, I was like, “Tcha! Whatever! It’ll take more than that to help rebuild a woman’s confidence after that kind of relationship!”
But actually. I don’t mind admitting I was wrong. It does make a difference! Splashing out on myself has been an important part of the process of healing. And it’s not just for someone coming out of a bad relationship, but any kind of traumatic, life-changing, defining situation: including illness, the death of a loved one, or a serious accident.
Ladies. And gentlemen. If you don’t make the time to really invest in yourself, to treat yourself to the things which psychologically make you feel better, the traumatic experiences of being in any kind of damaging relationship lingers.
This might mean actually making a purchase which you would never normally make because of the cost involved, but trust me when I say you are worth it. Not in a glib advertising tag-line kind of way, but in a genuine hand-on-heart, made in the image of God kind of a way. You are worth treating. I don’t know why it helps. But it does.
So stop just thinking about it! Do it! Buy a new perfume for yourself – not from the supermarket, but one which you want people to associate as you whenever they smell it. And get the matching shower gel or bubble bath too while you’re at it!! Do something different with your hair: colour it if you don’t want to cut it. Visit a beautician and change the way you do your make-up….or if you’ve never worn make-up – learn how to do it to enhance the beauty you are. Treat yourself – to something which is special for you, and costs slightly more than you’d normally have spent. And don’t just save it for a rainy day….you’ve walked through more than enough rainy days!! Make it become part of who you are now becoming.