Over the last couple of days I have written about how tough Mother’s Day can be for some people. Now I want to address those “some people” directly to tell you:
YOU WILL BE OK. TODAY WILL PASS AND YOU WILL SURVIVE.
I know how so many of you are feeling, because by now my life plan should have included children. But it doesn’t. And I’m at an age where statistically, the prospect of the deepest heart-dream I hold is becoming more and more unlikely to come true as each day passes.
This year has the added complication that I am also now, newly divorced. So being childless and alone means that when I say we will get through today, you have the assurance I am speaking from personal experience of someone who truly understands.
So how can we handle today, my friend? Here are my top three suggestions based on what I have done over the last couple of years.
1. TREAT YOURSELF. I know it’s nice to receive flowers and chocolates, but don’t sit around waiting for this to happen. Make it happen. Ok, so it’s too late to schedule a delivery for today, but order something special to arrive for you over the next couple of days. Flowers to your office to brighten your desk. Chocolates to munch on while you work. A new pair of shoes. An outfit. Something to make you smile. Be kind to yourself. Go and get yourself flowers you love and brighten up your lounge. Pick up your favourite wine and dinner. You can make the best of today for yourself by picking something you know will make you smile.
2. HAVE THAT BREAKFAST IN BED! Come on – how many times over the last few weeks have you rushed out of bed to get ready for work, or an appointment?? Have a lazy morning! Skivve off church for one week – God won’t strike you! Fix your morning cuppa, and your favourite breakfast and take it back to bed with you where you can read the paper, read a book, watch the tele and have some “you time”. Put it on a tray with a flower from the garden if you want to. Make this is special moment just for you.
3. ACKNOWLEDGE THOSE AROUND YOU. This might shock you, but you won’t be the only one dealing with the inner struggle of today. Reach out to someone else with a public declaration of how awesome they are. When we become fixated on our emotional struggle, it is so easy for us to become negative and horrible. Be a blessing even in spite of your personal pain – this will not only have a smile-inducing affect on those you’re uplifting, it has a knock-on affect on how you end up feeling about today.
Sure…hide under the duvet – if that’s want you need to do. But don’t stay there. It will only end up making you feel worse.
Make the best of today. Grieve the ones you’ve lost – relieve the memories, if you had the honour of creating them. If you didn’t have this opportunity, consider what could have been rather than ignoring it ever happened. Light a candle. Cry. What ever you need to do. Then reflect on the blessings you have in your life today.
Walk through today with your head held high, and your eyes looking up and outward rather than fixed on your inner pain. You will make it and together, we will be stronger for it.
Let me know how you get on. I’d love to share this day with you.