Still Standing Firm

Standing Firm When Others May Fall:

The experts say that the biggest causes of stress in adulthood are: Death of a loved one, going through a divorce, moving house, major illness, loss of job/changing job, abusive relationships/situations and severe financial problems.

Over the last couple of years: I have left an incredibly difficult and challenging marriage, leading to a divorce; have had to move twice into temporary homes whilst I sold my property; faced financial pressures over paying-off the ex, solicitors fees, court fees, etc; dealt with extra pressures at work as I covered the office manager role, and tried to do elements of my own role, following the diagnosis of my friend and colleague with a brain tumour;  plus changes at Church with a new Pastor coming in; oh, and the moving away of family… let’s throw in the emotional breakdown at the beginning of the process back in 2015, and top it all off with my car being written off by a lorry last week – yep, while I was in it!

And yet here I am. Still standing!
Albeit living in a temporary place, with a temporary car, and covering a temporary role at work, feeling like the only thing which isn’t temporary is my faith! What happened to that whole, “Life begins at 40” concept!!

I know there are people who go through stuff, and describe what they are experiencing as a Job season in their life, but I do think this is a definite “Job season” I am living through, just without the boils over my body! PRAISE GOD!!! But please don’t add that to my life!!!!

I love this from Job 10:20-21, as he addresses God:

Aren’t my days few? So stop!
Leave me alone, so I can cheer up a little
before I go to the place of no return,
to the land of darkness and death-dark gloom

I so get you Job! That’s a bit like how I feel, “like Seriously, God, I really can’t handle anymore! Stop already!”

Can we tell God to “cease”??

Whether we can or not, I was like that on my way into the office after I picked up the hire car my insurance company are, so far, refusing to pay for… that’s another post for another day!

Yet, like Job I will proclaim,

Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him…For I know that my Redeemer lives
(Job 13:15; Job 19:25)

Because I know that through it all, God is with me, His rod and staff have comforted me,  as He holds me in His hand from which I can never be snatched nor taken away; His banner over me is love, in the midst of the storm, and His ear is attentive to my cry. And though arrows may be thrown at me, He has rescued me from every single one of them, He strengthens me, He blesses me, He protects me, so even when a big lorry hits my little car, NOT ONE BONE IN MY BODY IS BROKEN!

And so when you see me on stage lost in worship, or DJ-ing at the sound desk, when you read my posts, or hear me speak, know this one thing: I know that I know that I know, when God has tried me, I will come out as GOLD, refined as pure gold, testifying of the goodness of the One Who saves. How long the “Job season” will last, who’s to say. But I will not hold back on getting my praise on!




3 thoughts on “Still Standing Firm

    • Steph Gutmann says:

      Mandy, don’t give up. I pray you know God’s lifting you even during the times you want to hide. I used to be sitting in a meeting and could visualise myself melting under the chair I was sitting in, just because life felt so tough. You will find the light in the darkness and I thank God He chooses to use even my post to encourage and reassure you. Everything is going to be ok – no matter how it looks right now.

      I’m praying for you xx


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