Hahahah!! I knew that would grab you!!!
Because we all want to know what is going on in the heads of the opposite sex!!
OK – so listen up!!
I’ve spoken in the past about how a man’s word is the measure of his character – and how this applies to us gals, as well as to them blokes.
But it it goes a bit further than just being honourable in our speech. For as in mentioned in my post about wolves in sheep’s clothing, we need to be aware of whether a person’s words and actions actually correlate.
So it is with interest I recently read the following page:
Rick Johnson, The Man Whisperer
OK, so this is specifically talking about the communication differences between men and women. But we should also be wise in how we relate to each other, ladies!
Having three brothers has afforded me some kind of understanding of “the man cave” blokes retreat into at times. But over the years I know I have treated men as if they are like a woman, in my expectation of them – especially when it comes to communicating with them. Hands up! I have fallen “victim” to the “words over action” judgement; rather than allowing his actions to speak louder than words, I have accepted his words at face value without testing them. And yes, this has led to difficult relationships and nights of crying into my pillow!!! Hey, I’m not too proud to admit that!!
I love my brothers, and know through their actions how deep their love for me flows (it better do, boys!!). It’s there in their protectiveness over me. It’s there in the afternoon one of them came over with his mates to do some painting for me. It’s there in the messages to check up on how I am. It’s rare for any of the three of them to actually verbally declare, “love you sis” unless I tell them first. Although, in fairness – they do surprise me with this now and again! I know through their actions, more than what they say.
The lesson of the page from Rick’s book above, and posts I have written previously, hopefully serves to help YOU know you can avoid certain types of relational pitfalls! Life lessons which serve as a red warning flag, or a warning road sign, or anything which will grab your attention and save you from treading the same path! God didn’t make us to be little islands trying to work out this thing called life on our own, He sets us in families, in friendship groups, in communities so we can do life together. Don’t be afraid to have that guy-friend in your life who can give you a special perspective on how the other half work – it’s a fascinating insight!
Men and women are created differently on purpose, for a purpose!! We both, males and females, are created in the image of God. We both reflect the nature and character of God. Put us together in a friendship/partnership/relationship which works, and this is a powerful message to the world of the completeness of Who God is. Stop trying to make the other fit what you know. Learn to work with who the other person is!!
Remember this one truth – the enemy comes to steal kill and destroy. Especially the things of God, or anything he knows will draw people to God – including you. Including your calling. Including your purpose. Including your character, your nature, the essence of who you are. And believe it or not – he will use people to achieve maximum destruction in these areas of your life – especially if people who don’t know God are watching your life, because he can use it to destroy their understanding of God.
So, in response to this, I believe it is even more crucial for you to be aware of the “wolf” who says what he knows you want or need to hear, and then does nothing to make any changes toward you. Watch out for the guy who has issues but says things like, “I will change, when…” and then proceeds to list any number of life events (commitment, engagement, marriage, children death), or decisive things you need to do (if you hadn’t said that to me in that tone, don’t leave your journal lying around, don’t breathe in my face), because each one of us is responsible only for our own actions, and our own words!
Women love words. We love to talk. Pass me a bottle of wine, and a cozy blanket, and I am yours for the evening to chat about anything and everything!! Men use less words more sparingly, so if what he says he means, you know it will match with what he does. If what he says is just words – this will become clear by what he does and doesn’t do.
And in case you think this is a bit of an airy fairy philosophy I have created, here’s what the Bible has to say:
“Beware of the false prophets! They come to you wearing sheep’s clothing, but underneath they are hungry wolves! You will recognize them by their fruit. Can people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every healthy tree produces good fruit, but a poor tree produces bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, or a poor tree good fruit. Any tree that does not produce good fruit is cut down and thrown in the fire! So you will recognize them by their fruit.” Matthew 7:15-20 (Emphasis is mine)
So guard your heart. Don’t just blindly accept what you are told without checking it against how a person behaves. Watch, as well as listen – because in many cases, actions speak so much louder than words!
But in the same way – check your actions correlate with your words, because to a a bloke – most of the time your words go…errr… over their heads!! We use too many of them in one go!!! Let your fruit be as productive as you would expect from them.
May Jesus be seen through our unity!!