When I was in my mid-twenties I started to work for the church I attended, in their admin office. The church was right in the heart of Ilford, in East London, and it was a vibrant, very active Church with around 1000 people when I first started. I loved it! But at the same time, being responsible for the types of events we used to arrange among the community we were based, even hosting some special guests like (my personal favourite) Shane Lynch, I was often out of my depth when I first started. So, rather than hiding in the sound room and orchestrating things from the dark – which honestly there were times I would rather have done! – when there are a few hundred expectant people waiting for things to start, I stuck on my heels and walked with purpose. Even when I didn’t actually have anywhere to be, I walked with purpose as though I did.
This became one of my strategies whenever we did something new, or whenever I was feeling “less than”. I would walk with purpose in my highest heels. Why? Because I learned very quickly that you seriously can’t slouch in heels.
Have you heard the phrase “fake it til you make it”?? This is one of those “buzz phrases” currently being used in both business and Christian circles to describe the art of acting like you are who you are working to become. It’s not about waiting until you reach your destiny and then behaving, dressing, acting like that person; but it’s about being who you want to be ON THE WAY to your final destination.
I guess, in a way that’s what I was doing back then. To an extent, I found that walking with purpose (even in my trainers) not only filled me with confidence, it allowed people to feel confident I knew what I was doing. Even when I had absolutely no idea!!! For those I worked for, this is what the leadership team needed to know, and for those attending our events, this was also reassuring. Looking like I know what I am doing is always helpful!
Body language is really important. Slouching conveys the message we are unsure of oursleves, or we don’t want to be somewhere. It’s a way of our body trying to hide, by taking up as least amount of space as possible. Even if we feel like this inside, we don’t need to let others see it. There are times when even now, I feel slightly out of my depth or insecure or whatever, and actually, this is when I go back to my old London strategy! I don’t need anyone to know where my head is at! My life is about me and God, and I am a work in progress just like anyone.
Don’t think, though, that if you see me walking around in heels that I’m faking it til I make it! Hahah! I am always in heels, and love nothing better than to walk as if I own the shoes I’m wearing and they own the steps they’re taking! In this respect, I am no longer faking it! This is my reality, and part of who I am. Heels are me!
How do you want people to see you? It’s probably not about heels for you, but whatever it is, and whatever you’re doing, walk tall without fear and timidity. God has “not given you a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
How do you see your future self? Walk with purpose to become the person you know you really are deep down. Walk with the sense of purpose and destiny of someone who knows God has called and chosen you for a life of “more than”! Even when we don’t really feel like it. I have learned it is more than possible to give the impression I know who I am regardless of what I’m feeling on the inside! So I can say with the confidence of personal experience, it is possible for you to walk tall and not slouch, even when all we want to do is hide away and not deal with life.
If you have to some days, fake it til you make it. And when you make it, think of the next level, then fake it some more. Life is a journey and we never make it until we reach heaven. Until, then, there are many mountains to climb, adventures to have. caves to hide in, valleys to walk through, lessons to learn, and so on… But with God right beside you, each step you take will bring the assurance and confidence to walk tall and not slouch.